I know it wasn't me. I've gone over it in my head a dozen times, and I know it wasn't anything I said or did or failed to say or do. So don't start pointing fingers until I'm through.
Some assholes better learn how to tip. With a quickness. See, I remember faces and names, and y'all paid with credit cards. And then left me sub 10% tips. After smiling in my face and telling me how great everything was. Don't come back, that's my advice. Just stay the fuck away, and all will be well. Go make some other bartender miserable by running his ass off for limes for your fucking glass of water and then complaining when I put a lemon twist in an Absolut Citron martini. What garnish do you think it gets, freakazoid? Oh, you want olives. Well, aren't you special. Don't raise an eyebrow at me while holding your glass aloft, either, becuase I was just struck with hysterical blindness and I'm completely unable to see that corner of the bar...because the people who are TIPPING are sitting elsewhere.
Cheap fuckers. Hope they go skydiving with discount parachutes.
3 hours ago