Saturday, June 30, 2007

In Case You Were Enjoying Your Day

...allow me to direct your attention to the Most Depressing Webpage Ever. (Flash)

I like to just leave that page up and weep silently. S'fun. Go ahead, stare at it for a second. Did the "earth temperature" and "barrels of oil" figures make you wanna scratch your eyes out? It did me.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Guv Sez: Pray For Rain

I hear that he's also planning on declaring July 8-14 Rend One's Garments and Lament Unto the Heavens Week.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Random Weekend Thoughts

When Barry Bonds hits homer #756, baseball fans everywhere should go out and buy Ken Griffey Jr. jerseys.

Speaking of baseball, Braves' manager Bobby Cox got ejected from his 131st major league game recently, tying the record. He should totally shoot for 162. That'd be a whole season of asshattery.

Why do people think Drive-By Truckers are a jam band? I'm kinda glad they do, though, because there's a shitload of live shows available for my listening pleasure. Stupid hippies. DBT = Punk As Fuck. OK. Maybe not. But they rawk, and jam bands do not rawk, by definition. If you disagree with this, you do not know the rawk.

Speaking of music, Russian Circles sounds like Slint playing metal. This is a Good Thing.

Why isn't Birmingham radio playing The Dexateens? Oh, yeah. Because Birmingham radio sucks big burlap bags of cocks.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

"You and I"? OK, She Wants To Lose

Hillary Clinton is many things, but she is not an idiot. So the choice of a Celine Dion song as her campaign thene song is puzzling.

I mean, I really don't get it. NO ONE likes Celine Dion. NO ONE. Even the people who like Celine Dion don't really like Celine Dion. Plus, she's French-Canadian. And, she looks like the bastard daughter of Barbra Streisand and Mr. Ed. And her voice makes baby Jesus cry.

But even if Celine Dion were the coolest, hippest, most au-courant artiste imaginable, "You and I" would still be a terrible choice for a campaign song. The title alone smacks of the kind of condescention and pandering that everyone hates about Hillary to begin with. Does she really think this song is going to inspire anyone? Or is it just a transparent ploy to seem somehow less of a sharp-elbowed political hack? Either way, it's disingenuous.

I'm not saying she needs to roll out a Shadow's Fall tune and start banging her immaculately-coiffed head, but....jeez. Celine Dion? Really? REALLY?

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Those Thievin' Albanians!

Watch our President get his wristwatch stolen by someone in the adoring Albanian crowd. The theft happens between :54 and 1:02 on the video, and it's clearly visible if you watch closely. You'll see a man's hand slide down the President's arm to steady it as he removes the watch, a classic pickpocket technique.



Of course, the White House press office is saying, "Who you gonna believe? Us, or your lyin' eyes?" because I guess it's important to not offend Albanians now....and funnily enough they have about three versions of the story going around, I guess to see which one tests better. If anyone still needs convincing that this administration's reflexive position is to LIE need look no further than AlbanianWristwatchGate. Why not just say, "Yes, someone in the large crowd stole the President's wristwatch while he was shaking hands. Next question." Because they are TERRIFIED that someone would look at that and see weakness or bumbling, and it is better to LIE than to be perceived as a weak bumbler, especially when you are, in fact, a weak bumbler.

Smart people grow out of this mindset by middle school.

(Random Albanian jokes: Why's the Albanian economy in crisis? Their donkey died! How do you stop the Albanian war machine? Shoot the soldier who's pushing it!)

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Drink Up Kids, Mommy's Got To Step Out For A Bit

A stay-at-home mom gets 27 months in jail for providing booze for a party of teenagers during which:

A) No one tested was legally intoxicated.

B) No one present was allowed to leave, much less drive.

WHAT THE FUCK HAS BEEN SUBSTITUTED FOR OUR JUSTICE SYSTEM?

Should she be prosecuted for providing alcohol to a minor? Sure, and given probation. But 27 months in jail?

Don't we have better ways of using our community resources?

Oh, that's right -- the prosecutor has to get re-elected.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Dammit

I get everything squared away, all chores done, I sit down, and I'm ready to play LOTRO.

The servers are down.

Dammit.

Rock For Light

Do some good and get a rocking tune: Green Day's cover of John Lennon's "Working Class Hero" is on iTunes. Your dollar (less one cent) goes to Amnesty International.

It's actually better than I expected it to be.

Favorite New Band

Lucero.

I hate the fact that I missed these guys opening for DBT last winter. I've made up for it by plopping down cool green on everything available from them on iTunes.

They really scratch my alt-Skynard itch. Countrified rock songs, or rockified country songs? All I know is that whiskey rasp and twang makes me wanna drive fast and howl at the moon.



Love Ben's comment in the interview: "I don't mind ripping Bruce Springsteen off. That's not done enough nowadays."

Prettiest Girl At The Dance

Beware: dorky gaming post ahead.

I worked my first toon up to 20th level and became increasingly irritated. Hunters are useless against multiple mobs, and frustrating in fellowships because all the mobs will gallop past the champs and guards to get to Mr. Feeble, the hunter. This is NO FUN, so I started a second guy with the idea that I would go in a completely opposite direction.

So I rolled up a dwarf minstrel, and the game is fun again. Minstrels are LOTRO's healing class, but most of their low-level heals also do damage. I realized how much better this class was when I got jumped by three mobs, all at or above my level, and after a somewhat protracted battle found my toon standing over their bodies with most of my MP left. Cool.

But the best part was completely unexpected. Minstrels are a necessity in fellowship quests, and there seems to be a dearth of them at all levels. So I can mosey out to whatever site I want to work on and it's almost guaranteed that there's a group of tanks (and a couple of fifth-wheel hunters) looking for a minstrel. It's like being the easy girl in high school: sure, you get a lot of attention, and afterwards you feel sorta used...but it gets you LOTS of experience.