Thursday, May 04, 2006

Lobster Boy At The Stop-And-Rob

My beloved Alice has left the Stop-and-Rob, and I miss her. She always greeted me with a smile, she happily flirted with me when I was tired and grumpy from a rough night at work, and she taught me how to say hello in Swahili (I don't know how to spell it, but it sounds like, "Jambo!").

Her replacement is also African, and though I'm no judge of accents, I'd guess he's Kenyan, too. His stature is akin to Manute Bol: the guy has to be at least 6'6", and when he turns sideways he disappears. Dude is skinny. And he has interesting hands.

Remember Lobster Boy? No, not that Lobster Boy. The circus freak with the claw hands. This guy:

Well, the new guy at the Stop-and-Rob has hands like that, except he's so tall and skinny that his fingers seem like they are a foot long and he has vestigial (or maybe not, maybe they're functional) thumbs that project from one side of the fused digits. I'm fascinated by his hands. It's not like he's disabled: it's like he's got a different and in some ways better set of fine-motion manipulators than the rest of us. He has fewer digits, but the digits he does have look like they could crush rocks.

Imagine this. Make the Spock "live long and prosper" sign. Now bring your thumb next to your index finger, and imagine that those three digits are fused together as one. One big bone, one enormous tendon and bundle of muscle. Now see the vee? Carve that back to the middle of your palm. Fuse the ring and pinkie fingers together, and add accordingly big tendons and muscles. With your hand sliced so neatly down the middle, you'd be able to place the thumbdigit and the pinkiedigit face-to-face, and you'd have the strength of your whole hand to clamp down. That's some grip.

And his hands aren't exactly like Lobster Boy's were. This guy has that thumb thing working for him, too. And his digits are so long that he can prbably touch his own wrist with the tip of his finger. Imagine that.

No point to this, but I thought it was cool and bloggable(TM, patent pending, copyright controlled) so I thought instead of writing about politics or whining about work I'd do this instead.

Next time I see him, I'm going to ask if he knows Alice. Oh, Alice! My world is emptier without you in it!

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